Bummertown.

Once again the New York Times style section has called me a great big sucker. Speaking directly to me, an article out today claims that the Açaí berry, my antioxidant-rich touchstone, is really nothing special and that I may as well have been taking chocolate chip pancake supplements for the past two years.

"Despite the attention, there is little to back up the extravagant claims made on behalf of açaí. While the berry does contain antioxidants — molecules that can slow damage caused by the oxidation of other substances in the body — there are no long-term studies proving that açaí removes wrinkles or, as the various detoxification products claim, cleanses the body of toxins. Nor is there evidence to support dieters’ hopes for a magic fruit."

Boom! I'm devastated. Although, seriously, if you really thought sitting around eating berries was going to make you lose weight -- you're a dumb dumb. This time, however, I'm choosing to ignore the hateful reality check backlash to an over-hyped ingredient. I just had a warrior water shot today (half goji, half açaí) and I'll probably have one tomorrow. You're going to have to pry the açaí berries out of my cold, dead (yet strangely baby soft and radiant) hands.

Crap - is goji going to be next?? The bottle says it has "youthing" properties. That's science. Leave it alone!

Beauty's Sleeper Hit

As fall’s proverbial chill creeps around my doorway, I am in need of a skin saver to protect my lovely visage from the saboteur also known as indoor heating. Luckily, I’ve found respite in Exuviance by Neostrata’s Evening Restorative Complex. A luxuriously rich and deliciously smelling concoction, this thick blue goo works overnight to calm irritation and develop a radiant glow come morning. Its blend of acids and antioxidants exfoliate gently yet deeply to keep the drying effects of the transitional season at bay, leaving me free to rock autumn’s cutest headbands without a patch of complexionary dry skin in sight!

THE GAME HAS CHANGED.

Givenchy, I applaud you! Makeup brands have all been clamouring to reinvent the mascara wand for decades now. And in an instant, you've done it. A sphere? You genius!

Finally I can get to the root of my lashes -- which makes my eye color pop like never before. Finally, I can truly coat every single lash. And finally I have curly, gorgeous, impossibly lengthy lashes.

Don't be modest, take a bow. Phenomen'Eyes Mascara is a masterpiece.

Do you have to tip the fish?

This just doesn't spell G-L-A-M-O-U-R to me.

Rehab Fab

I recently ended a 12-year co-dependent relationship with acrylic nails. Despite my friends’ snarky comparisons to “80s fabulous,” I pine away for my plastic, white-tipped talons of yore, the quintessential Southern girl’s manicure. Not surprisingly, what lay beneath were ten tissue paper-thin, bendy, peel-y, can’t-even-really-call-them-nails. Help!

My rehab plan has included a combination of 10,000 different vitamins, a lot of swearing, and Nailtiques Formula 2 Nail Protein. A sworn staple in the manicure circuit, this product contains a blend of animo acids and keratin formulated to treat weak-nailed girls like myself.

I won’t be booking hand model gigs anytime soon, but the Nailtiques potion is slowly working to undo a dozen years worth of damage. And in the meantime, I’m making a personal call that gloves are THE it accessory for summer.

I'm Regressing

A few weeks ago I wandered into a beauty supply store in search of nothing in particular when I spotted a dear old friend. Pevonia Botanica was the very first brand of high-end products I ever bought. It is, in fact, Pevonia's fault that I have become the person I am today.

Pevonia's face washes, herbal toners and scrubs are my favorite. They smell clean and fresh and make your skin feel like the skin of a baby angel - should those exist.

Why did I ever abandon this stuff? It must have been the pull of variety. Well...I was a damn fool. I've been using the RS2 Gentle Cleanser and toner and I feel like I'm 14 all over again. Things have changed in the last decade and all for the better. The entire line has been lovingly revamped. My teenage self would be totally impressed.

Excess Baggage

True: I often fall prey to the glamour-crushing trifecta of too much work, too much play, and not enough sleep. Also true: I can no longer compensate for such recklessness with a venti latte and/or power nap. Thank heavens, then, that I recently discovered Benefit’s Boi-ing concealer. A lightweight spackle, this wunderproduct is 8 hours of sleep in a tiny compact, erasing the email overload of a fluorescently lit morning or copious cocktails of a scintillating night. So party on, ladies! With this product in your arsenal, your eye bag-inducing sins are all but absolved.